Overheard

"I think I've forgotten how to kiss. I've given too many blowjobs"

Wow, hon I think you need to reprioritize.

OH: Twitter

"Redheads are HOT!!! You could put red hair on a rock and I'd fuck it."

NG Chronicals

So, the guys are talking poker and the NG actually says, "There's this one girl that is great at poker and I know why, she's hot."

I snorted. I mean it's not because she actually knows how to play or anything like that but because she's hot. Damn, I must be REALLY good at my job.

(NG=New Guy)

OH in line

"You know, we shouldn't be allowed in public together."
"I know, together we are just the right kind of wrong."

OH in a market

"What was that?"
"That is the look of, are you crazy? Of course we need chocolate to go on top of chocolate."

OH in a market

"Trust me this is a good death. If you have to go, Oreo's layered with chocolate Ice Cream and hot fudge is the best way to go."

OH during a corp meeting

"They're very German. Ridged and unyielding."

(really? In this day in age you are going to bring race into a meeting about why you screwed up?)

OH on a Bike Trail

This thong is ridding up my ass harder than this damn trail.

OH at Borders

"Everyone knows that you can't get DNA from pee. If they are, you're peeing blood and you have a whole 'nother problem."

OH at Work

NG seriously, why do you scratch your balls while in front of me. In my office none the less.